Be careful what you wish fore, it makes you vulnerable in bilateral groups. Daruma was the 28th Patriarch of Dhyana in India, he traveled to China where his presence established Chan which was later to be called Zen in Japan. In his quest to pacify his mind Huiko consulted Daruma, to impress Daruma Huiko cut off his own arm, at least we have Sesshu’s painting to attest to tell his story, where Daruma, after the snow had reached Huiko’s knees, replied “Bring your mind here and I will give it a rest. Huiko replied “I have searched for that mind and I cannot find it,” to which Daruma replied , “Then I have put it to rest.” (from Mummonkan , Case 41, Blythe translation which may not be “scholarly” but it sure is fun which may b more in the spirit).
In Japan the Daruma doll is made so that if it rolls over it returns to upright, seven times fall down, eight times get up”七転び八起き . You can visit a temple and get this ema (絵馬) .
Two see or knot to see, Two be or knot two be, whenever, sometimes its never too late, but other times its always too late, pieces of my self strewn around the wondering path of my life, some lost forever, . . . some just never to be found again
We lived just side the city limits, a small town of about 25,000, two high schools, one large company, I did not realize how terrifying it was to me until I could not find my self, or perhaps the self I found was terrifying to others . . . who in turn just reflected my self back to me . .
and as I found out even more terrifying to the ones I kneaded in my life,
Some just thought it was funny, as if my life was a comedic movie that they paid to watch for a while and then halfway through concluded it was not worth the price they paid . . .
For many there is always hope, I hope that’s true . . .
but too many some times the distance seemed too overwhelming, that I let that seem become a knot try, which is worse, I don’t no.
and I had too much outsight which at the time I thought I was protecting my self . . .
a cloak of false rationalization as if my only strategy to defend this self from the effort to be that self I wanted me, this he, to be, know me.