When an end, again begin, Cegin

A monk asked Baso, “What is the Buddha?’
Baso answered, “Not mind, not Buddha.”

Mumonkan, Case XXXIII Ummon

What does a monk do for their living,? Smile? Be a living proof of the dream? Do monks in the USA get social security contributions paid? Do you learn to be be a monk ?

When we look at other people we might be tempted to think we see them as they are, but we also see them as we want to see them ,or maybe as we want to see ourselves.

My mother had a stroke, lost memory and developed expressive aphasia. She was very intelligent, had a large vocabulary, could have a warm heart oran angry tongue. Most of the care givers were not native born and often raised , they could communicate well, but mom’s vocabulary could be beyond their. ,and my vocabulary. At the nursing residence they gave her a wheel chair—strapped her into it and let her roam the halls, Suited her just fine,. She was known to, and I witnessed it once, go into the rooms of other other residents and, loudly— you could hear her outside the room in the hall,—critique the care givers.

Why do people wear the clothes in which they appear outside? Do they enjoy those specific clothes, I like older clothes, they are soft and smooth and remind me of good experiences I had while wearing them.

May be 1965, or so . . . sometimes when I see one of my old photographs I feel like I screwed up a lot of my life,

Alameda Creek

Keep it in the kitchen
It will gleam
Keep it from the weather
It’s your ice cream
Hide it in the queen’s room
O don’t you be so mean
Hide it in the cleanest kingdom
Where it won’t ever be seen
Cause, brother , that’s your only ice cream

Wonderings , Keep It Kenneth Patchen

Sometimes when I am watching a movie or a tv show, and the story is about a young overweight nondescript woman who plays a stereo typed unattractive character . . .

How do they advertise for the part? Maybe there are agents who specialize in these kind of parts.

Maybe you think no one openly advertises for a “loser” person, but there are so many stereo typed looking people in movies and tv shows—they cannot help but use stereotypes, its so economical.

I also see actresses chosen for their “stardom ” they are often visually physically attractive , but in the movie are made to appear unattractive only later to bloom. Yet the whole time you are watching them you remember they are not the person they are playing and probably people who never in their heart felt like that role.

How does it feel to be 14 years old, very over weight, only to sneak into your bathroom and lock the door to try on lipstick and make up, only to remove it all before leaving.

That’s just a rhetorical question —what do you do if the thing preventing you from getting what you want in your life is yourself? How you look, the color of your skin, your religion your gender, Perhaps some people grow out of it, others let it bother them their whole life . But that is also the condition of human life onEarth,—the behaviors that enabled us to survive are the very behaviors that keep us polarized.

But if your precious illusion should turn out not to be real where then where will you leap my dear little flea

Wonderings Kenneth Patchen

EndPaper

Using children’s different color backpacks, Ai Weiwei made this installation for the 19,000 children who died in the Sichuan Earthquake, May 12, 2008.

And when I do not know who or what the the stones represent they become bland perhaps like most of our lives when compared to the headlines of others.

A cautionary note—driving a modern automobile can have side effects.—do not enjoy talking with the car’s computer distract you from driving.—you could kill some one or even yourself.